What price would you pay for transformation? As The Fish Monger’s sardine-scented coat draws closer, so does the promise of freedom from pain—and perhaps humanity itself.
A DISPATCH FROM THE UNDERWORLD
By Anah-K
He brushes my lips with sea salt
It’s better if it stings a little before we kiss
We are sitting at a booth in a bar called:” The Lucky Mermaid”
I had come here to meet my Double. There were lots of mirrors on the walls
and a colorful mosaic of a fishtail wrapping around the wall behind the bar.
The Familiar Stranger had been waiting for me nestled in the dark.
I had actually come here to meet with The Fish Monger, but now needed my Double
to distract The Familiar Stranger in the booth.
The Fish Monger lived under a trap door behind the kitchen.
I was here to negotiate a trade of my elderly legs for a fishtail.
I wanted to get back to the ease of the sea; the levity of a gravity
kinder to my bones
which more and more felt like they were becoming cobblestones.
The Familiar Stranger’s hands started to reach for me under the table.
I wondered what it would be like for him if he felt scales instead of tights.
I was getting hot and bothered and began to wonder how and if I could pull off the switch once
my Double showed up.
I was hoping she remembered to wear the glittery black mascara and her hair down not up.
The elbow of his wing knocked over my drink and the candle on the table.
The ink on our bill began to splay, blotch and smolder into a tiny green and gold flame.
Just the distraction I needed as my Double walked in the door and grabbed a damp towel from
across the bar. Suddenly she was standing before us suffocating the table fire.
I slipped under Double’s arm just as she and The Familiar Stranger locked eyes.
You could hear the slap of the trap door close.
I began to descend a rather small but steep staircase.
I clutched at the piping sticking out along the brick wall.
Careful to steady myself;
Landing in my hips on each step,
and resetting the table for the next step.
If I am able to pass The Fish Monger’s testy challenges,
one day there might only be a smooth shimmer between my torso and my tail.
No more shooting stars in my thighs, no more nerves singing high pitches of pain into my feet.
I could now smell the faint odor of sardines that always wafted out from The Fish Monger’s
coat
The stench would only get stronger the closer I got.
I had bargained with The Fish Monger before.
Long ago, I traded my tail for legs in order that my daughter could keep her tail after being
seduced by a mortal nymph like person.
It was against mythic law to mix with mortals without a sacrifice.
I took her punishment as my own.
She swam free while I remained landlocked.
The Fish Monger was sitting on a stool over a bucket and gutting a fish with a knife
He was muttering a song to himself as he always did while working.
Suddenly he interrupted himself and called to me: “Miss Wishy Fishy Minerva! For what
occasion Do you visit me?” I silently rolled my eyes as I knew he knew my request.
We were able to speak telepathically so much of this would be for show.
“What must I do this time in order to trade these legs for a tail?”
The Fish Monger answered: ”Darling, I dare you to switch with your Double and allow me to
have a conversation with them.
“A conversation?” I sighed
“Yes, a conversation” he replied
Quickly, telepathically, I responded, “But my Double has already decided to stay on land in my
place.”
I began to feel dizzy and queasy
Meanwhile thinking: My Double has probably had a double shot of whisky by now.
I bet she and The Familiar Stranger are practically having sex in the booth upstairs
Sitting there, I remembered the gill breathing meditation handed down through generations of
Mer ones. I closed my eyes and began breathing through my skin as if my whole body was my
nose and mouth.
In this quiet, I remembered the song a Mute Swan gave to my people long ago.
This song could lull and charm all dangers to sleep. It sounded like wind and rain echoing in a
seashell.
I finally had a plan on how to do the switch with my Double with The Familiar Stranger so I
could send her downstairs to The Fish Monger.
“Good idea!” said The Fish Monger out loud.
I would need to send a telepathic message to my Double to meet me in the bathroom upstairs.
Then I would return to the table and lull The Familiar Stranger with The Mute Swan Song as my
Double went down through the trap door to meet with The Fish Monger.
Thing was, my telepathic powers did not work to communicate with my Double this side of the
trap door and Fish Monger’s telepathic powers only worked on his side of the trap door.
I began to ascend the stairs to the bar as my heels rang click, click ,click.
I opened the trap door and immediately cast my gaze like a net over my Double careful not to
snag the Familiar Stranger.
Double got my message instantly and excused herself to the restroom.
“Close the door” I whispered. The bathroom was tiny and The Double and I were so close we
were almost touching. Looking into Double’s eyes was always very disorienting; Like looking
into black pools of water full of lightning strikes. Double caught her breath and grabbed my
hand thread our fingers together then brought her other hand tenderly to cup the knot we had
made. The Double had delicate beads of sweat on her forehead and I duly noted her glittery
black mascara had smeared and her lipstick appeared smudged where she had bit her lip.
I began my telepathic message:
Fish Monger wants a conversation with you. It’s part of the task he has given for getting my tail.
I think you will be safe. He will get more out of my legs and you remaining on land, than giving
me a tail. I will put The Familiar Stranger to sleep for as long as this takes. Be as quick as
possible!
We unlocked hands as I glanced in the bathroom mirror, rubbed under my eye, and smushed my
lipstick into the tiny cut on my lips. I left the bathroom first to cover Double behind me as she
rushed to the trap door.
I locked eyes with The Familiar Stranger just as the trap door slammed. I slipped into the booth
beside him and started caressing the top of his hand. I began to conjure the beginnings of The
Mute Swan Song than stopped myself.
It would be better if he didn’t fall asleep here.
“Let’s go to my place”
Anah-K is a poet and Astrologer living in Santa Fe, New Mexico.
